The Great Rainbow Laces Blast-o-rama

When I read a post from Fearless Leader Legend Pete on the RMB’s Facebook page I made the surprised “Ooooh!” sound. It wasn’t a choice to make that sound, it just happened. Chelsea were going to use rainbow laces against Man Utd. Nice touch, I thought.

Then a little while later I was perusing FB looking for posts from family and friends when I came across this:

Exhibit A

Dave is usually a good read. He’s one of those fans who not only went to games, but went to training sessions, too, so when he posts it’s normally either a lovely slice of nostalgia or a post claiming player A as the best player in the world, then useless a few weeks after. Always good for a laugh in my book. This post, however, got under my skin.

My brows raised and I tried to blow it off as banter, but then I read some of the replies. They really got under my skin. It’s almost like this section of fans doesn’t just revel in nostalgia and the good old days, but would rather actually turn back time and segregate themselves and the club from foreign fans and those who support the notion that everyone, regardless of their creed, colour or sexual orientation.

Exhibit B

Shocking Newsflash: People aren’t just gay for pride month, folks, and if it offends you so much that you can’t bear to see anything other than red laces in your Doc Martens (Inside barb for those in the know.) for ONE DAY? It reminds of the time when a couple of Chelsea fans told me “Black goals don’t count.” back in ’84 or ’85. Sorry Canners. I look forward to the day when a Chelsea player comes out and scores the winner in a Champions League final, like Didier Drogba did in 2012 to the dismay of every racist piece of shit wielding the temerity to call themselves a Chelsea fan.

Then we have this clownshoe:

Exhibit C

I just know this guy still smells of Brut cologne and probably has a tattoo of a Bulldog sat in front of a Union Flag on his arm. I know you thought it, too. It’s Innnnnstinct (Thanks, Al!). If Mr McGrath can’t cope with the amazing RMBs showing up to home and away games every now and then, I imagine he’ll have a nervous breakdown in a few years when a male Chelsea player finally comes out and I hope it’s your favourite player. The rest of us will give our undivided support to the team while… and this is a stab in the dark …the two Daves are swept aside and forgotten like the sons, brothers and cousins in their family who were disowned for being gay. Tout fucking suite, no less.

Exhibit D

That shit, Mark, is the future.

Improvise, adapt and overcome, old boy, or be remembered as that guy who needs a double vodka at 11am to cope with the thought of rainbow laces showing up in public. Thank fuck that the core Chelsea fans I grew up with would be comfortable enough in their own sexuality that they’d absofuckinglutely wear rainbow laces for someone else for a day. They’d also cheer on players who do not have the courage to come out yet. It’s also the smallest token of respect and support we can give to those who sit in the stands and have to present a completely different person just to avoid getting a beating after the match. Yet here we are.

This next one is my favourite.

Exhibit E

Anyone want to wager against this fuck knuckle not being in the wrong side of the Shed in the 80’s singing racist songs to Canners, Dubs and Jones while sporting Combat18 and Totenkopf badges on his denim jacket? I mean I was there on the other side of the Shed in the 80’s up to ’93 and I did see them. A lot.

(My daughter, who is 12, read some of this and says you’re stupid idiots and you need to reset your priorities.)

Then followed a chorus of gold chokers and sovereign coin rings clanking against each other:

Dear Robin. ALL of our players wore them.

I will take a moment to be serious and address Danny Tanner’s statement:

Statistically speaking there’s at least a couple of the lads in the squad who are gay and do not have the strength or conviction of belief to come out because of the people exhibited above. That’s not even going into the deeper ranks of the u23’s and academy, who are much more forward thinking and honest with themselves. And Chelsea is just one club. There 72 professional teams in the English leagues (3 of them are Welsh and we thank Wrexham for Joey Jones and Mickey Thomas.). Instead of 150-220 openly gay players in the professional tiers there’s ONE openly gay professional footballer. Not one per year, but one in 30 odd years. Why do you think no one has come out after seeing what Justin Fashanu went through when he came out in 1990?

Frankly, if I was in such a privileged position to play for Chelsea I’d wear them in support of Jake Daniels alone. I’d probably pop his name on the back of my shirt from time to time to boot.

Jake Daniels: The bravest man in English football.

More so it’s not just for the players on the pitch. It’s for the fans who can’t be themselves on match day and the others who are and still get abused for it. Brighton and Arsenal spring to mind as examples of supporters who have a brilliant section of fans that wear their orientation on their sleeves, and good for them. Maybe it’s even for the Chelsea fans who went to Brighton, sing rent boy songs to the opposition only to wind up getting well deserved jail time for it (yes, that happened). Maybe it’s for the Man Utd fans who sang it today.

Once being gay in the men’s game is as normalised as the women’s game is, maybe there’ll be a few less kids hanging themselves every year because they can’t cope with having to be different people depending on who they are with. And that’s what Stonewall’s Rainbow Laces campaign is really about. Read more here: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/news/why-do-we-need-rainbow-laces-campaign

I called you all out so you know how it feels to be shamed, and I pray to all the gods that don’t exist that you do feel shame, too. Within that prayer I hold a sliver of hope that this will be the kick up the arse you need to join everyone else in the 21st Century and know truly, madly and deeply that IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.

Lastly I sincerely hope that none of the people I called out support our amazing women’s team because if you do, none of those diamonds like Sam Kerr, Fran Kirby, Jess Carter and Beth England need your two faced shithousery.

Graham Potter: Up to the Task?

Here we are again my friends. New season, new manager. Massive respect to Thomas Tuchel; wrong time, wrong place, much like most of our managers in the last decade or two, much to my chagrin. But there’s no changing what has happened, so how do I think Graham Potter will fare in the Boehly era?

This is how I look most mornings before a cup of tea… but with no hair up top, of course

As usual I mostly focus on Chelsea history as Blue has always been in my blood and, even as an atheist, I confess to being blessed by God to a, be born English, 2, to be born into a family, that wasn’t wealthy but was rich with love, and iii, be 100% Chelsea.

Being born in 1976 I wasn’t aware of Eddie McReadie, Ken Shilleto, Danny Blanchflower or Geoff Hurst’s tenure at Chelsea. Have no doubt that in that list of names belongs a Double winner, a World Cup winner and two Chelsea legends. (I’m not counting Bobby Gould on principle.)

John Neal. No words needed.

While I don’t remember them you can bet your mortgage that I remember John Neal (1981-1985). The start of John’s spell in the hot seat was slow and were it not for a top bins shot from Clive Walker we would have been relegated. bear in mind that I was only six, but in my dad’s bottom bedroom drawer was a collection of memorabilia that ingrained unto me the depth of history of Chelsea going back into the 60’s. Scarves, shirts and most importantly matchday programmes. When my Dad, Bryn, went off to the Bridge or to an away game I would sit down with crossed legs and pour through those seemingly trivial pieces of glossed paper, eagerly waiting for my father to come home and tell me how they got on.

A bed of roses it was not, believe me, but in ’81 ’82 and ’83 Neal signed a clutch of players that would attempt a coup. Joey Jones, David Speedie then in the following season he brought in Eddie Niedzwiecki, Pat Nevin, Nigel Spackman, and my childhood hero, Kerry Dixon. We went from being one goal from the third division (League 1 these days) to cleaning up Division 2 as champions on goal difference ahead of Sheffield Wednesday, losing only 4 games and bringing Chelsea to the top flight for the first time in my memory.

’84/’85 was a gold mine for me as a 7 then 8 year old Chelsea. In the opening game we drew with Arsenal 1-1. BIG result is an understatement. From there we pressed on as West London’s Upstarts in the league, taking on teams and out-playing some of the big boys. We finished 6th above Arsenal, again on goal difference, narrowly missing out on an UEFA Cup place that never came to be, thanks to the Heysel Stadium disaster, that we shall avoid like hot cakes.

Mandatory Dixon and Canners pic vs the Gunners

Unfortunately for all of us, John Neal retired at the end of the season as he needed heart surgery. Once he had recovered he joined the board of directors.

Simply put he was a brilliant manager who got the lads busting a gut for him. We played good, direct football, getting the ball out to Thomas, Nevin and Cannoville working out how to get the ball to Speedie or Dixon. I have heard stories that the lads would talk through the game, figuring out the best way to beat the defences they were up against. It was a joy to watch for any glossy eyed 8 year old seeing his heroes get the job done.

Here is where I make an unlikely claim: I believe that Graham Potter has the same gift John Neal had and will our best manager since he retired. Surely this claim is getting more outlandish than anyone can believe, right?

Let’s examine the evidence:

Hollins needs YOU!

John Hollins (1985-1988) came in after Neal and for all of his history with the club, and us being top of the league in February but with the remaining 11 matches we only picked up 9 points from a possible 33. He also lead us to victory in the Full Member’s Cup. if that’s worth anything. Two below average seasons later he was sacked on the back end of the season with us in dire straights. Love the guy. (Remember the being shit after Christmas bit? Strap in, lads, it’s going to come up a lot.)

Bobby Campbell serving Johnny Bumstead and Kevin Wilson a lovely cup of tea

Bobby Campbell (1988-1991) was Hollins’ assistant, joining from a Kuwaiti side. He took over at the end of that disastrous ’88 season, but won us the 2nd Division with 99 points to put us back up. We finished 5th that year, but in the next season he failed to replicate the kind of form we really should have been producing. With no disrespect to Campbell he was a Liverpool man through and through (I remember dad saying that several times.) and didn’t put everything into a club he had no love for as he wanted the Liverpool gig. Did he get it? Did he fuck. He resigned and joined Ken Bates’ staff before fucking back off to Kuwait from whence he came a year later. He’s been back at the club in the Abramovich era, and I wasn’t there behind the scenes, so who knows.

An underlying theme developed: Half decent players were joining from half decent sides, bought by half decent managers with little to no credentials who were cheaper pick ups than paying for pedigree. Sounds like Ken Bates to a lovely cup of tea, right? Did it work? Fuck it did. So…

Ian Porterfield. Check out the legs on that, ladies.

Ian Porterfield (1991-1993). was next in the hot seat. Firstly we had an indifferent season, but in the following year we had a flying start, putting us in contention for the title, only for us, AGAIN, to flail like boneless puppies at the back end of the season and Porterfield was given his marching orders. Bleak? Probably? Did I care? Did I fuck: Chelsea ’til I die.

David Webb The man, the myth the backwards flat cap.

David fucking Webb (1993-1993) (should that be a capital F?). David Fucking Webb (1993-1993) came in on a short term contract to save us. Chelsea’s FA Cup Winning David Webb. Now, I confess to having bias beyond belief for David Webb. Some of you may know I’m a Southend lad. Now, who managed Southend United, whom I watched a lot with my Grandad (he was a Hammers fan. No way I was going to Upton Park with him)? Who also had season tickets for Southend United before and after I was in the army? Yes. David Webb managed Southend and I got to chat with him a few times. LEGEND is an understatement.

So, how did Webby do in his back end of the season? An even spread – played 13, won 5, drew 4, lost 4. Did I care? Did I fuck. Why? We were plummeting to relegation but save us he did. 7 years later he was back at Southend United because he’s a legend.

This is how it looks to lose an FA Cup Final 4-0

Glenn Hoddle (1993-1996). Hold on now. Hoddle wasn’t a middle to fairing player. He played for Spuds, winning the FA Cup twice, the UEFA Cup, then he went abroad to Monaco and won the French League because he felt like it. So in Hoddle we had a continental style Player Manager with international credibility -and- foreign connections. Don’t get me wrong, we were still shit, but we were polished shit. We got to our first FA Cup final since 70 and by virtue of Man United trouncing us 4-0 but also winning the league? We got into Europe for the first time since 71. Things are looking up… well, all the way up until the FA came a knocking and he got the England gig. Ho hum. He got us rolling, but he was always a Spuds guy. *insert derogatory Spuds reference 22812b here* Hoddle got close to beating out John Neal in my eyes. He brought in the right players for the right job – Petrescu, Phelan, Gullit, Peacock and…

Sparky taught me more about being a target man than anyone else. A superb example for any aspiring striker.

Necessary side note: Mark Hughes, another legend who is a Chelsea fan and left a title winning team to play for the club he loved. You can’t buy that kind of class… unless you have a million pounds, which we did. Watch his goals. Not just for us, but for Man Utd and Wales. His ability is undeniable. Necessary side side note: my boy loves that pic of Sparky. Necessary side side side note: My little brother is called Mark. Could be a coincidence, but bear in mind that both Marks have the nickname Sparky. Blue runs in our veins.

My shameless excuses to display the graphite and tangerine kit will never cease

Ruud Gullit (1996-1998). Now this fellow is in my all time top 5 footballers. EVER. The guy knows his football better than 99.999999% of the world’s population. That’s why he signed Di Matteo, Vialli and the best player in our history, Gianfranco Zola. We won the Cup in 97! Bobby Di Matteo made me drop a bottle of beer when he scored less than a minute in. Apologies dad, thanks for letting me off and forging the unforgivable. But…. At the same time Gullit had a bit of a screw loose and broke down. Personally, I believe management was too much for him as he couldn’t micromanage every player to play like he would and it drove him to bang his head against the wall. Literally. He was ‘resignsacked’ in February of ’98. Some say it was over an argument with Bates, but I reckon he just lost his bottle and needed help. In the following August he buggered off up north to Newcastle. Look at his record in management and you’ll see short spells at every club. I think he was born to be a pundit after retiring from playing and I still love the guy.

Didn’t win it all, but he’s cooler than most who have

Gianluca Vialli (1998-2000). Now Luca is definitely in my top 10 for footballing characters. He has such a passion for the game and had a knack for getting himself into the right place at the right time on the pitch. This happened off the pitch as well with the job. We won the Cup Winner’s Club, League Cup and FA Cup (Charity Shield and the Super Cup might count, I leave that to you.). At this point, Luca was our most successful manager in our history. But there was a massive falling out behind the scenes and thus started the reign of player power at Chelsea and because of this I can’t claim Vialli to be better than Neal. Close call though. Fucking love the guy

This is how you look when you finish second in the league and still get the sack.

Claudio Ranieri (200-2004). If there was ever a manager that had an unfair shake at Chelsea it’s Ranieri. We were in serious financial trouble and were it not for that famous goal by Jesper Gronkjaer at Liverpool? We’d have been bankrupt. Bates gets fucked off and Roman replaces the Chairman’s seat with a Throne. Ranieri had the players. They loved him, but Roman was determined to hire some dude no one in Chelsea knew about. So, despite finishing second, our highest place since 1955? Buhbye. I feel bad about this one. I bet you anything you want that we would have been in at least two finals and would have won the league if he had stayed. He proved that point with Leicester. Fucking LOVE the guy.

From here we’re footballs deep into the Roman Empire. Money is no object and when you buy whomever you want I can’t assess the management ability under the same light. Besides, there’s only one manager I want to highlight and no, it’s not Jose.

Never forget that Butch was behind the scenes for most of our triumphs

Carlo Ancelotti. (2009-2011) Carlo had the players breathing out of their world class hoops for him. That double winning season was the best I have ever seen us play, no question. I wished he was our manager for two decades. In many respects I still want him to be our manager now.

But as Ancelotti is off the table why is Potter, in my clearly deluded opinion, the man to lead us to years of quality? He may just have better player management skills that John Neal had and Carlo has. Instead of just getting his coaching badges, he garnered a degree in social sciences and studied for a master’s degree on leadership and emotional intelligence. Potter is going down roads unknown to football. He definitely knows how to get the best out of everyone.

The squad will be quickly moulded into a team with the belief and desire to do their best for Potter, each other and us. He’ll look after the players, keep the banter in public professional and… well, I believe he could be an Arsene Wenger or Fergie and stay in the hot seat for a good many year to come.

Mandatory RLC fanboy pic!

After a couple of hours worth of fantastic memories I’ll end things here with this misquote:

It’s a bold prediction, Cotton, let’s see if it plays out for ’em.

Win or lose: UP THE BLUES!

Songs for Morata. I don’t hear songs for Morata.

These days at Chelsea we don’t support the players and nurture their talent. We expect champions in the first XI because we’ve been winners for the last 14 years. We don’t have the time or place to put a kid in and let them make their mistakes (unless you’re Christensen) because we expect titles. We loan our talent out and expect them to flourish far away from Stamford Bridge.

In general we heap pressure on the players who have massive amounts of potential and the fans at the ground make no bones about telling them they’re not good enough. So they leave because their confidence is shot and spend a couple of years at a team where they are encouraged to grow. Then they come back to the Premiership a couple of years later and light the place up.

If we supported all of the players we had and encouraged them to improve? Who knows where they would be in Chelsea history.

We know you’re not just here for Alonso.

Land of Hope… and Expectation.

So we’ve had a few weeks to find our feet, get used to Antonio Conte’s passion and now it looks like the squad has settled into his approach to the game and at least one formation, something we haven’t really seen in Blue at the Bridge since the days of Glenn Hoddle and Ruud Gullit. That’s right, the 3-5-2 is back at Chelsea. Let’s see how Conte’s 3-5-2 compares to Chelsea of the Hoddle era in the wake of our demolition of Jose Mourinho’s  Manchester United.

Days of hope

Defence:

Dimitri Kharine

Courtois seems to have come out of a bit of a slump with a commanding display, showing the promise of his previously shown ability.

Dimitri Kharine is a good comparison, even though Kevin Hitchcock is my favourite Chelsea goal keeper. Kharine was one of the first continental goalies in the Premiership. He was tall, lean and brought a new style of goal keeping that we commonly see in the Premiership today.

Local Media, Americans and the World Cup

As this World Cup comes to a close, I have been watching a lot more than just the glorious display of the Beautiful Game on display here in Denver. Here are a few things to note about my perception of Americans (or people who live in America) and the media in Denver during this World Cup:

1. In the main, supporting the country of one’s ancestors seems to be more important than the country one is born in. This could be a fallacy, but I have seen more Americans in Germany, Brazil, Mexico, France and the other South American country’s shirts than I have the US one. I will say that in a few, rare cases some of this is because of a true love of football as a whole (I myself had a Pele shirt in the 90’s). My prime example is RMB’s own Greg Lepetsos as he shows us all his pain while wearing his Brazil tee during that 7-1 capitulation to Germany!

@CFCRockies @DeadBeatBert pic.twitter.com/IEPtTEC2vj

— Greg Lepetsos (@lepetsos) July 8, 2014

2. When the US lost to Belgium, the World Cup finished for those who were only supporting the American side because ‘Murica. It’s like they believed the World Cup existed up until they lost, which is a shame, considering the amount of passion we saw from a lot of US fans. Those who have invested time in following a league team, however, have been following the whole tournament and have been treated to an event far better than South Africa, four years ago. This is just an observation of the casual fan who only shows up when there isn’t any American Football or Hockey on. They will disappear as soon as social media dies down and their twitter page isn’t inundated with facts they can repeat as necessary. This is the kind of fan we need to educate more and get on board full time. They know the score, but don’t have the base to stick with it.

3. The 9News Sports department is decades behind the rest of the world and a good section of Denver, too. By only focusing on the World Cup until the US went out they missed a huge opportunity to connect with an already large and continually growing part of Denver’s community. I don’t even think someone of them know that US had to go through a quite arduous qualification process to make it to Brazil, you certainly can’t have a decent conversation with a few in there without getting the usual misinformed rubbishing you get from those who don’t know the game. More importantly, they are missing out on the chance to forge a link with the community, especially seeing as we have live Premiership football broadcast on our station. @nil_nil00 was contrived, cheesy to those already in the Denver football community, but he was a step in the right direction and I hope he returns soon, so get your #savenilnil hash tags ready, my friends. Here I get ribbed by the unidentified reporter for predicting a Brazil win over Germany:

Our IT Specialist and my biggest supporter, @DeadBeatBert, predicted a close Brazil win, possibly in penalties…You nailed it sir. Bravo!

— Nil-Nil (@Nil_Nil00) July 8, 2014

4. Telemundo Denver’s approach to the World Cup has been perfect. They have done everything that 9News should have and I think their general viewer base will grow because of that.

5. I was given the chance to work on air with Susie Wargin on her show with Dave Logan at KOA radio. I enjoyed myself immensely and got to advertise my abilities, but more importantly I thought it was a good step for them to take as it engaged with the community. As football continues to grow, I think it would be a great foot in the door to build and have someone (not necessarily me) on a regular basis to cover the Premiership, La Liga and other leagues and cater more to Denver’s already passionate football community.

And here we are now at half time in the World Cup Final with everything to play for. Just 45 or 75 minutes away from being able to take a deep breath and focus on what’s really important – Chelsea’s pre-season training and our impending campaign to bring the Premiership, FA Cup, Mickey Mouse Cup and Champions League where they belong – the trophy cabinet at Stamford Bridge.

The Match That Changed Football: The Aftereffects of Heysel

the 1985 European Cup final witnessed one of the great tragedies in sports history, but modern football is a brighter, safer and more entertaining spectacle as a result.

39 Juve fans died at the European Cup Final in Belgium because of football on this day in 1985. 39. Take a moment and let that sink in a little. Regular guys like you and me were killed at a football game. On top of that over 600 fans were injured. At a football game. I’m not going to blame Liverpool fans and jump on the “Always the victims” moniker that has sometimes rightly been thrown around. Instead I will squarely blame everyone:

Premier League and the Great Sacking Blast-o-rama

What the hell is going on? No. Seriously. What the hell is going on?

RMB Select Predictions!

So I got with a few of our lads and we decided to make our predictions for the season! I have to apologise to everyone for not getting these up sooner, but they are here at last!

Please join in with us and post your predictions for the season – I’ll give you guys a week or so to get them in but you’ll have an advantage over us as we did these before the season started and the transfer window closed.

RMBs Went to Mow

Let’s get the season started.

RMB Tour: Indianapolis – Pre-game meet ups.

So it has taken me a couple of days to recover from an exciting, entertaining and thoroughly exhausting rollercoaster trip to Indianapolis. Michael and I got checked into the Canterbury just after finding out its bar was rated as one of the top five sexist bars in Indianapolis. Naturally we were mildly fearful of being objectified, but we knew we could take it in the name of Chelsea.